Fucking hell. I avoided watching tonight's Biden-Palin debate, because I knew it would make me so crazy that I would wind up yelling obscenities at the TV. Instead, the Cubs made me so crazy, I wound up yelling obscenities at the TV. So much for my grand plans for a sane evening at home.
Actually, I did catch a snippet of the debate while sitting in the lobby of my neighborhood police station, waiting to see the detective who’s handling our second burglary case. Yes, we got robbed for a SECOND time two weeks ago. Turns out the cops caught a guy they think was involved, and they recovered some of our stuff, including Carole’s watches, my guitar pedals, and my Lomo camera (which I love, but actually haven’t used in the three years since I discovered the joys of digital photography); none of my grandfather’s jewelry, though, or my box full of ancient Greek and Minoan pottery shards. In other words, none of the irreplaceable stuff that actually meant anything to me. And the detective told me they had to let the guy go on some kind of juvenile technicality, though they’ll arrest him again if his fingerprints match the ones on our stuff and our windowsill. In other words, there's still hope that the guy will eventually be the victim of a brutal prison rape, though that likelihood has been somewhat diminished. Oh, and there was a fatal shooting four blocks from our apartment last night, when some guy tried to hold up a medical marijuana dispensary. I am so fucking over this neighborhood…
In other words, a Cubs victory would have gone a long way towards elevating my mood, especially after yesterday's egregiously ass-sucking 7-2 loss to the Dodgers. But of course, as any longtime Cubs fan SHOULD know by now, you can't count on these fuckers to do anything other than break your heart. Carlos Zambrano, the evening's wild card, actually pitched a respectable game (3 earned runs and 7 strikeouts in 6 1/3 innings); too bad his infielders suddenly forgot how to field grounders, turn double plays, etc.
Seriously, what is up with these guys? Who ARE these guys? Last year's Cubs were streaky as hell, so the fact that they went dead cold in October wasn't that surprising. But the 2008 Cubs squad (regular season edition) were fighters; down by four, five or six runs, you could always expect them to battle back and at least make a game out of it. But whatever zombie cucumber paste they've apparently ingested this post-season didn't begin wearing off until the bottom of the ninth tonight, by which time they were already down 10-1. Gah!!!
Lou Piniella didn't seem to wake up until around then, either. Sure, he was all fiery in the post-game press conference, saying he didn't want to hear about Kosuke Fukudome anymore (that makes two of us, Lou), but where the fuck was he in Game 1 when Ryan Dempster was throwing like shit? And how come he can't motivate his teams to get up for a playoff game, or at least get them to relax a teeny bit and have some fun out there? Everyone in a Cubs uniform has looked as tight as a strained hamstring for both these games — so maybe it's time to take a different managerial tack than you did during the regular season? Dude, lose one more game to the Dodgers, and you spend the rest of October fishing meatball sandwiches out of a bucket, or whatever the fuck it is that you do perpetuate that fine physique of yours; how about actually trying to light a fire under your players' collective ass before Game 3? Sure, you've pretty much blown the series already, but it would mean a lot to all us Cubs fans if the team we rooted for all season showed up for at least one game in the post-season.
